i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
