You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Randomize
