do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Randomize
