ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
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