When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
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