your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
