Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
