I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
