I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
