you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
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