Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
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