after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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