just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Randomize
