remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
