The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
Who wears a wallet chain?!
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Randomize
