You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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