My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
