Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Randomize
