I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
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