this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
Randomize
