Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
Randomize
