ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
