im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
Randomize
