just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Randomize
