I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Randomize
