her vagine was all disorganized.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Randomize
