Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
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