The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
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