Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
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