i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
