Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
I wanna passion pit in your ass
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Well I just put wine in my tea
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
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