Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize
