How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
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