would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Randomize
