1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
dude i'm inner monologue high
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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