No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
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