It's Friday. Sex?
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
