I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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