So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
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