yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
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