I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Randomize
