ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
