if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
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