someone get that fucking seahorse.
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
