Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Randomize
