Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Randomize