Eric just called. Says he's trapped in a cul de sac because the road disappeared. Wants me to tell him what street has the bushes that whisper sweet nothings into you ear and the wobbling purple pokemon. Oh, and a "bigger and better" penis is growing out of his belly button. He took shrooms by the way.
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
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