The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Randomize
