Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
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