I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Randomize
