seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
