I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
my phone needs a breathalizer
and you said cock pushups were impossible
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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