Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize
