Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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