whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
Is it penis luge time yet?
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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