I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
Randomize
