how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
