erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Randomize
