I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize