My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
His nipple licking is glorious
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