it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Randomize
