bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
You made out with two different species that night
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
Randomize
