How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
You dont lie about slip and slides
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
