I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
The adults are the big ones right?
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
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