if we break up, who will get the dealer?
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
