my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
