whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize