there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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