Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Randomize
