wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
