My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Randomize
