just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Randomize
