didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
