Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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