I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
