I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
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